This Forever England

After the recent revelations that UKIP Leader Nigel Farage was a school boy fascist, we thought it an apt time to share this piece, which was featured in our summer issue. The words were originally penned by Pierce Penniless, and we asked Anna Trench to take a graphic side-swipe at the smirking lizard-man of Westminster and his vision of This Forever England…

Illustration by Anna Trench

Nigel Falange riding to Westminster in a sedan chair carried by the sweating, gurning, clueless shower of BBC journalists for whom he exerts such a fascination. He daintily extends a boot – British leather, of course – for Nick Robinson to lick. Across the country, moustachioed & spittle-flecked colonels (retd.) blimp their way through shabby primary school halls to cast their vote for a man (and, really, politics should be left to the men, none of this trendy degenerate feminonsense) who’ll sort out the ravening hordes of ‘asylum’ seekers who probably hide round corners so we never quite see them. Each of them ambles home to a long-suffering wife, who briefly contemplates how much rat poison she could get away with putting in the mashed potato, before settling down to another choleric divagation on the evils of hijabi marxism. At the end of the evening, each sleeps the sleep of the damned, which is restful, and dreams of a silvered wall, three miles high, keeping this forever England.

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